


Immoral Desires

by alyuchiha913



Series: Immoral Desires [1]
Category: Code Geass
Genre: Denial, Desire, Internal Conflict, Internal Monologue, M/M, Masturbation, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Sexual Content, Sexual Fantasy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:28:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26415688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alyuchiha913/pseuds/alyuchiha913
Summary: He was his enemy. The person he was supposed to hunt down and destroy no matter what. He was supposed to hate him, detest him, despise him. So why was it that every time he saw him, his blood boiled with a fire born of something other than hatred and his body trembled with something other than rage?Suzaku-centric.___Originally published on FFnet - October 2009.Revised and posted on Ao3 - September 2020.
Relationships: Kururugi Suzaku/Lelouch Lamperouge | Lelouch vi Britannia, Kururugi Suzaku/Zero
Series: Immoral Desires [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1920040
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25





	Immoral Desires

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this fic back in 2009, and at the time it was the first time I'd ever written anything like this. Since then, I've written a few more fics in this style, and brushed up my skills a bit, so I decided to do some minor edits to this piece before posting it here. Thus, it's not an exact replica of the version can be found on Ffnet, but it's not too far off from the original.
> 
> \----
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. This work is purely for entertainment purposes only.
> 
> \----
> 
> Recommended playlist: Fragrance by Gackt
> 
> \----
> 
> Suzaku's POV

It was wrong.

So unbelievably wrong.

It was unthinkable.

Absolutely unthinkable.

There was no way that such thoughts were possibly making their way through his mind. Such thoughts were unheard of for someone in his position.

It was absurd.

It went against every moral and value he held himself to. It went against everything he’d been taught - it was the opposite of every principle he’d been raised to believe in.

It was improper.

His training and discipline; it was all to avoid situations like this. Every instinct in his being screamed at him that he was supposed to _reject_ thoughts like this. Such thoughts would be considered to be _treason._

It was **_forbidden_** _._

He tried his best to stop it - honestly, he did. He tried so incredibly hard to remember his training - to focus on his job - but he _couldn’t._ His mind seemed to be hell-bent on torturing him with these scandalous ideas. He didn’t know when he had started having these obscene urges. He didn’t understand _why_. All he knew was that for some reason he was being plagued by them, no matter how desperately he attempted to stop the onslaught. The images came unbidden to his mind one after the other - images he would have never believed his subconscious possible of creating - running through his imagination like a screenplay. Images of _him_. His enemy. The one he’d sworn to defeat.

_The purple garments, embellished with gold. **Royal colours**_.

How dare he wear such regal attire so elegantly; proclaiming himself as Royalty?

_The carefully crafted mask that hid his true identity. **An enigma.**_

How dare he invade his thoughts, seducing him with his alluring aura of mystery - taking charge of his mind like a puppet master pulling his strings?

_The slender limbs that move with more grace and poise than a ballerina. **An enchantment**._

How dare he disrupt him so; weaving his way into his consciousness - unsettling his psyche with image upon image of forbidden desire?

He was his foe. Enemy. Rival. Opponent. Adversary. The one fighting against him – against the Empire. The person he was supposed to hunt down and destroy no matter what. He was supposed to hate him, detest him, despise him. It was his duty to capture; to kill; to eradicate him. So why was it that every time he saw him, his blood boiled with a fire born of something other than hatred? Why was it that whenever he gazed upon his countenance, his heart beat faster because of something other than the adrenaline that should be pumping through him? Why was it that every time he heard that voice, his body trembled with something other than the anger he should feel upon facing his enemy?

_Why was it that he now found himself welcoming the images? Creating new ones with astonishing vigour? Each one more lascivious than the last?_

His body was aflame with overwhelming ardour as vision after salacious vision flowed through his mind, continuing the erotic screenplay in his imagination. Some small part of him still told him that what he was doing was wrong – that this was all deeply wrong - but he couldn’t stop. He could no longer control his thoughts, or his actions. The battle had been long lost. He had barely been able to put up a convincing fight. He’d simply stopped fighting, giving in almost readily – after paltry attempts at resistance – to the immoral desires which were consuming him.

His entire being was ablaze; skin tingling, blood boiling, flesh throbbing, as he indulged himself in the forbidden pleasure. His nerves were on fire – the heat unfurling throughout his body as his hands moved frantically, leaving a path of searing ecstasy in their wake. He still couldn’t believe he was doing this – couldn’t believe he had sunk to such pathetic actions, and because of _him_ no less – but it was too late to stop. He couldn’t stop now _._ He _didn’t want_ to stop. He was far beyond the point of no return - he had to finish it. He _needed_ to. His body yearned for more – _so much more_ – **more** of the pleasurable touches, as he imagined that _he_ was the one touching him so sensually, causing him to cry out so wantonly.

**_His_ ** _gloved hands caressing, rubbing, stroking, **scorching**._

**_His_** _lips moving_ _on his own, trailing down his body, **marking**._

**_His_ ** _body moving over him, grinding, thrusting, driving, **claiming** **.**_

He was close – he could feel it. He was _so close now!_ The fire in his body had become a raging inferno; the heat smouldering, exploding from the very core of his being. He was suffocating - smothered in the lustful abandon of his thoughts and actions; his breath coming in short, ragged gasps as he felt himself being pulled closer and closer to the edge of that wonderful abyss of ecstasy. His muscles clenched and unclenched as he moved faster now, wanting so desperately to throw himself over the edge – wanting for _him_ to throw him over the edge. The coil within him sprung tighter; his toes curling, as he felt it coming. He was on the very edge of the precipice now, ready to fall. So close - so **_close!_**

_Nerve endings blazing. Muscles jerking. Body arching. Breath catching. Lips parting._

He screamed as the coil snapped, his vision went white, and he was falling – _tumbling_ into the mind-blowing chasm he’d been chasing. **_He_** had thrust him over the edge, sending him _plunging_ into the depths of that sinfully satisfying abyss, and it was in that moment that it happened – a sole, incriminating shout. The evidence of his treacherous cravings brought to light; bursting forth, unbidden, from the deepest part of his psyche to spill out of his lips at the height of his passion. One word. One name. The name of the one who had somehow managed to undermine his entire being so wholly, that just one thought of him – one single unsought desire that had somehow wormed its way into his brain, despite it being against everything he knew and believed – had sent him on a downward spiral into this dishevelled, moaning, _writhing_ mess, seeking gratification at his own hand, while his fantasies revolved around _him_.

**_Him_ ** _._

“Zero!”

**END**

**Author's Note:**

> As mentioned previously, this fic was originally written back in 2009, and I'd never written anything in this style before. It was really quite the challenge back then - one which I actually really enjoyed, as it was intriguing to me to write something erotic in an intentionally ambiguous way. The idea of it was to draw the reader into the heat of the moment - to experience what Suzaku is feeling - without knowing the explicit details of what he's doing. I hope I accomplished that well enough for readers to enjoy.
> 
> Do let me know your thoughts of this fic in the comments! 
> 
> Constructive criticism is welcomed!
> 
> Peace Out! ^_^


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